Meaning of Lost Spring Star
Lost. Since about; well actually for years I have felt lost. I have never felt that my life here on earth was ever permanent. As a child I felt as though life was but a dream. Nothing was real. When will I wake up from this nightmare? In fact I still feel lost. In the bible it talks about wanderers. Strangers in this land. We are all not like that I realize. As a child I created in my mind a land of Fairy Tales, where the ending was “And they lived happily ever after”. I did not like the reality I was living in at the time. I wanted a Prince Charming to take me away. And truth be told, I have read many fairy tales while locked up in my bedroom. And just recently on Netflix I watched all of the first two seasons of “Once Upon a Time”. It was great! Right now they are running their 3rd season on ABC. But I don’t watch TV since I have Netflix why bother. I can choose what I want to watch. So I shall wait until this series end on TV and watch it all later. In some ways the bible is like a fairy tale, only it is true. And fascinating. And scary too. But it has a very happy ending. Maybe then I won’t be so lost anymore. As of this writing I am still in limbo. Waiting for the next move. Like I said, I never really had a permanent home. Not in the reality we live in now. This is not my home. When I grew up from my childhood, I never did find my Prince Charming. Been married and divorced 3 times. And many in between. All I ever wanted was to be loved and taken care of. But for me now that is not reality. Many things have happened in my life. But it all just made me stronger.
Spring. My favorite time of year. Especially the fact that technically my Birthday is on the first day of spring. 3/21 As a child if I so happened to be locked in my room on my birthday I would look out the window to look for all the sparrows flying around to sing me Happy Birthday. I carried this tradition with me for years because in truth I was a lonely girl. Lost in this world. When will I be loved? Guess what? It doesn’t matter anymore. I am a grown woman now and realize for me it’s best to be alone at this point in my life especially at this time in all of our lives. With the events that are going on in this world I think it is in my best interest to just get along in this world and not worry about what’s happening. I am not in charge. GOD IS!!! And I am not perfect. I keep my life as simple as possible. But the events that have transpired over the last several months has been difficult and painful. And is probably necessary to strengthen me. I just keep going. I am not living in lala land anymore. Actually I haven’t for quite some time now. All I need is to have my needs met. Shelter, clothing, and food. And of course my cat Isaiah. I own nothing in this world except my car. I have no desire to look sexy anymore, so I don’t go out of my way to getting fancy clothes or anything. I await the day that I shall be changed in a twinkling of an eye as the bible tells us.
Star. I believe and it is not a fact, but I think we all have our own star in place. That was how they were able to locate Jesus at the time of His birth. And it sure wasn’t 12/25. I think He was born in the Fall around the time of The Feast of Tabernacles. And every year the date changes. But we follow the Roman Calendar. The true calendar time is Jewish. They go by the moon. If we were to calculate our birthdays according to the Jewish Calendar it would never be on the same date. But for the time being I shall cherish 3/21 as my birthday because it has a special meaning to me and again it is not a fact. At least not that I am aware of. Only God knows. Maybe even the Scientists. I should look into it. I am talking about the first day of creation. So in my belief, when we are born, a star is born. And I believe God can snuff out that star as if you have never existed or brighten your star and live forever. And again, only God knows. He can build up and tear down. If you have a lot of false pride and vanity God is able to knock you down and make you see just how filthy you really are. And I don’t mean in the physical sense but in the spiritual sense. I have spent over 3 years in a spiritual dungeon. What a horrible place to be. And the only thing that kept me alive during that time was the love of my granddaughter.
So there you are. I have given you the meaning in my opinion, lostspringstar.