Shawn Mullins Lullaby song.
I must say that when things are not quite right in my life I think of this song. I remember the first time I heard this song. Since I am deaf but can hear with hearing aids, I rely a lot on closed captions,texting, emailing, lip-reading, and writing. I speak well though even on the phone but you have to repeat yourself over and over or I beg if you can email or text what you say. That is my life. Oh well.
Back to the song. The first time I heard it I was driving home to Tampa, FL from Michigan during Christmas break. My daughter was with me. And it was always my tradition to stop in Tennessee. Go to Ruby Falls. It was off I-75 so it was not out of the way. So after that I would sadly go back home. But in a hurry too. And so I heard the song....The only words I got out of it was "Everything is going to be alright Rock-a-bye". I felt as though God was talking to me. Trying to comfort me. Encourage me to keep going.
Life certainly was not easy for me at all. And unfortunately I am very sensitive. However life has made me strong too. Although I am an ex-catholic and proudly so, I strongly believed in the 10 commandments. And I no longer am affiliated with any church, but a very strong believer in God's Word. I cannot deny it. Too many experiences spiritually and researching. Sometimes I get a little scared or insecure. Or be a doubting Thomas, but I always felt protected especially as an adult.
I have made so many mistakes of course as everyone does. Even had wild and vain imaginations in my own mind. Someone once told me that I had my own religion. I am sort of a non conformist mainly within the church walls. However I try to obey the laws of the land. Not perfect at that either. I love rock and roll especially from the 80's. I had been homeless 3 different times. The first time in 1985. That was a very spiritually weird year for me. So many dreams, some that came true and others that may yet to come true. When I am wearing a long white robe, I pay attention. But the problem was in 1985 was that I was acting out the dreams. Guess where I ended up? I dreamt of that place before I got there. Pontiac State Hospital in Michigan. So many weird things happened while in there. But it was real! Even though the doctors labeled me paranoid Schizophrenic, to this day I know I was not! I even escaped once from there. Oh what a crazy year it was for me. You see now that I am okay looking back to that time and doing much study I started to really believe in Satan as well. But after those experiences, when I settled down finally in Tampa, I could not read the bible safely. I had to leave it alone. I went to AA on an invite even though I was not an alcoholic. This was at the end of 1985. I stopped going for awhile but went back in 1989 after my younger daughter's father left me. I was still hungry spiritually so I got involved in New Age for a few years. The 2nd step says "Came to believe in a Power greater than us "could " restore us to sanity." Didn't say He would but He could. I was afraid of the Catholic God and hell. So I used New Age. Finally after quite a few years of doing that and other things that went on in my life with my daughter, I tried going back to Catholic church. My daughter was taking a class at the church and had asked too many questions. Good for her! The teacher complained about her and I had a talk with her and I said you know what? You're right! Never went back. But I was having dreams with scriptures and being dressed in white and I was preaching. I asked someone in AA about it and he told me that what I said in the dream was in the bible. And he showed me. 2nd Timothy 3:16. So I decided to try another church. A charismatic Methodist church. I still didn't know much about the bible but I was given another dream about a scripture in the bible. Isaiah 43. But the pastor who was a little stiff and didn't seem to care about me told me the scripture was in Ezekiel. Wrong! So I asked another woman and she told me Isaiah 43. Right on!
But as I kept going to that church I felt like I was dying spiritually. The people would say certain things and I totally didn't agree. Oh God will deliver you from Rock and Roll, or smoking, or it's a sin to have a tattoo. I told that woman take the log out of your eyes before taking the stick out of mine. Then the church would pray the apostles creed and I knew it was catholic. And I wasn't ready to hear about demons or Satan. Also I was pretty much sitting all by myself during the Wednesday night suppers. I felt different from them. I only had one friend from there who is still my friend today but she doesn't quite get the real truth. She would always make a prediction about certain years and it never came to pass. But she is still my best friend. And I have another Christian friend who doesn't quite get it either. So I just don't talk much about it. If God wants to open their eyes and ears He will. I had nightmares about that church. So much blood. One dream a man was covering my ears as to protect me from hearing what the preacher was saying.
Anyways, I have learned much since getting out of church and AA. I learned more and more about the bible and the Wolves in Sheep Clothing and Pagan holidays, the truth about 501c3 churches. The Masonic Temple, Garden Plot, The military, demons, and all kinds of stuff. Right now I am just another person trying to get by in this world until the Day of our Lord. I don't know everything nor do I know when, but things are happening. But one thing I do know is this; Satan is the great deceiver and has many people doing his will. And so many christians and others will be marveled and deceived. It will be so deceptive that even the elect may get deceived. So I don't look for signs and miracles anymore. I just Thank God for protecting and providing for me.
So everything is going to be alright Rock a Bye, Rock a Bye. Only the Holy Spirit can draw men unto Christ. And another thing Lately I have been hurting or my heart is being quickened. More and more everyday do I see the scriptures coming true and have no need for dreams for the time because I haven't lately anyways. I love people as a whole and I am so willing to bet you I have loved more than your average person. Why? I don't know. Ask God. I have known for years since a child things were just not right and I just didn't know what. Was I a sinner? Yes I was and still am. Because none of us are perfect. Every day we must repent and be aware of our faults and admit them. And strive to change accepting the fact we will continue to make mistakes.
Will write another day. Reedited 04/11/15